Did you watch the Ashley Madison documentary on Netflix (released March 2024)? To recap, Ashley Madison is a “discreet” dating platform for people looking to cheat on their significant other. Currently they have 70M members, and their tagline is “life is short, have an affair”. In 2015 Ashley Madison was hacked and the private data of its members was publicly leaked, leading to maelstrom of news coverage, ridicule, lawsuits, divorces and even suicides.

You’ve gotten real honest and decided your partner is holding you back. Well done, this was no doubt a difficult process. Now it’s time to be brave and take a stand for your future happiness. He might not like what’s coming, and you may care about his feelings. Here’s how to do it kindly.

You and your partner may have built a stable life together, and things on the surface might look just fine. You don’t argue often, and you’re likely efficient at managing daily tasks, finances, or parenting responsibilities. But underneath the smooth logistics, there’s a noticeable lack of emotional warmth and romantic energy. Conversations stay surface-level, physical intimacy is rare or missing, and it feels like you’re both living side-by-side but not truly with each other. The silence isn’t hostile, it’s hollow.

A step-by-step guide to working through the yucky feels and building something sustainable 

For a long time, I thought I was one of those people who couldn’t do non-monogamy. I believed that my boyfriends should be laser focused on me, and if they cast an eye toward other women it was disrespectful.

You want closeness. You want to feel chosen. You want ease, affection, shared goals, a touch of magic, and some damn space to breathe. But if you’re like most people, you may be reacting in ways that sabotage the very things you say you want.

You’re not a bad partner for wanting more, you’re just growing. And you deserve to have honest, expansive conversations, even the uncomfortable ones. This guide walks you through how to start those conversations with care, clarity, and a high chance of success. And at the very end I’ll share 2 unexpected, research-based tips that make you more empathetic and warm during those tough chats – things you can put into action today.